The things they teach kids in church


I sometimes peruse the reviews of churches that people post to the website I found the following snippet from a review of a church in Berkeley particularly amusing:

After visiting the church several times, one of my older kids decided to attend children's church, held concurrently to the sermon in a room adjacent to the sanctuary. Attending this with my kid, I witnessed the kids learning the words to R.Kelly's, "I Believe I Can Fly" and practicing swaying side to side in unison, the kids practiced Bible verses and won awards for memorizing verses. My kid was entranced with singing in the choir, and I felt comfortable to leave him and return to the sanctuary to hear the end of the sermon.

Mrs. McBride (Mother M) led the kids back into the sanctuary and they sang the song for the congregation. I loved watching my kid swaying and singing, If I believe it, I can do it.... After the kids sang, Mother M talked to the congregation about what they learned in children's church.

Prepared to hear a discussion how the song reminded kids that they can do and be anything, I was shocked to hear Mother M say that it was important to know how to fly because when the rapture comes, flying will be a necessary skill. WTF!!!

I wrote Pastor McBride an email hoping for some clarification. He kindly wrote back and it became clear that this theology is not for me or my family.
What I want to know is--if it is a necessary skill, were they giving flying lessons to the adults as well?


Pastor Bob Cornwall said...

I'm assuming that by the time we're adults we should know what to do when we're caught up in the air. That being said, as a teen we did some rapture practice, which entailed jumping up and down. Apparently we need to try to get off the ground before the Spirit can finish the job!!!

Rowan The Dog said...

Oh, thanks, that's the best laugh I've had all day.

If those are the folks who are going... I am happy to be left behind.