Post-Easter hangover

Earlier this month, I wrote about how Easter was making me cranky. Well, I guess I'm still a little cranky--or at least more frustrated than I was before.

My dissatisfaction with my forays into progressive Christianity is probably due to a recent convergence of three events. First, there was Easter itself--the holiday in which Christian churches the world over, including those that are ostensibly "progressive", proclaim that "Christ is risen", in ways that suggest that those doing the proclaiming either actually believe that mythological and mutually irreconcilable Easter experiences described in the Gospels were literal, historical events--or, even worse, that those doing the proclaiming are just pretending that these events were literally, historically true. This dovetailed with my recent reading of Jack Good's book The Dishonest Church, in which he described the phenomenon of clergy who learn in seminary that many of the Biblical stories are not literally true but then who go on to preach as if they really were. Last, but not least, my experiences with Night Church in Copenhagen, particularly the candlelit service which I thoroughly enjoyed despite not having understood much of what was said, led me to realize how much I appreciate worship not for the dogma or ideas so much as for the means they provide for focusing my mind into a state of awe and communion with the Divine.

Today, I didn't go to church. I have seen some progressive congregations in the region that interest me, but which are located in suburbs that would require a fair amount of driving to get to. Thus, because of their distance, they, unfortunately, are a bit far away for regular attendance. Still, there is a part of me that wants to at least check some of these churches out at least once, to see if they can provide some hint that perhaps there do actually exist forms of progressive Christianity that I can relate to. This morning, I woke up too late to venture too far afield in time for a 10 AM service, so I did a quick perusal of the web site of the Center for Progressive Christianity, to see what lies in my own city of San Francisco. I've looked at their affiliate list for California before, and it hasn't changed much since the last time I checked it out.

I took another look at a Presbyterian church on that affiliate list. I had looked at the church before and felt that it wasn't right for me. The problem with the label "progressive" is that it is often a vague concept that means whatever the church in question wants it to mean. Many churches like to think of themselves as "progressive" because they fully support gays and lesbians, as if that were the be-all and end-all of what the concept means; yet many of these same churches preach remarkably orthodox notions in other areas, particularly when it comes to the doctrine of the resurrection. This particular church seems to be one of those. I found a sermon on its web site going back to Easter of 2006, in which the pastor made it clear that she fully believed in the literal truth of the resurrection, and that without it she would "wash her hands" of the Christian faith. It is statements like these that scare me away from churches.

Still, I thought I wanted to go to some church, and it was running too late to find a church that had a 10 AM service, and the Presbyterian church's service starts at 10:30, so part of me was trying to talk myself into going there despite my gut feeling against it. The web site for the church included the latest newsletter, which contained an article about progressive Christianity that I mostly liked. Maybe I could check the place out after all. The neighborhood where the church is located is not a good one for finding parking, but, amazingly, I found street parking on the same block as the church. If I were superstitious or believed in parking Karma or that God manipulated parking spaces, I could have taken this as a sign that I should go to this church. But I didn't. I realized I didn't really feel like going in to that church after all--which is to say, my gut feeling won out. I got out of my car, walked down a nearby main drag and found a nice neighborhood bookstore that was open on a Sunday morning. I browsed a bit, then went back to my car, and left.

It was not quite 10:30, and I knew of a UCC church that I had visited once that had 11:00 AM services. I drove to that neighborhood, found parking nearby, got out of my car, walked past the church, walked back to my car, and drove to the other side of town to a restaurant, where I had a turkey burger for lunch while I read the Sunday New York Times. I guess I really wasn't in the mood for that church, either.

The funny thing is, I am not very fond of many aspects of the Danish Lutheran Church's official theology, and yet I was able to find value in its non-conventional Night Church services a few weeks ago. In the case of the candlelit service I attended in Copenhagen, I was able to allow the language barrier to permit me to break through my theological objections and experience worship as a contemplative experience. Non-conventional worship often works well for me, especially if it offers something contemplative. That is why I am drawn to such things as Taize at an Episcopal church while Sunday morning services at that same church hold no appeal for me whatsoever. The Presbyterian church I didn't go to today has a once-a-month Jazz Vesper Service that I have not visited, and that may or may not be something that I would like. Many Episcopal churches offer innovative Sunday evening services that I have considered investigating.

Being on the heretical fringe of Christianity has continued to plague me. It has made me restless. God only knows how people like me would have done any church shopping before the age of the internet. It is only because I can do this sort of research online that I am able to even consider the possibility of exploring various churches that identify themselves as "progressive".

I am waiting for this whole Easter season to end, so that Christian churches can put their mythologies away for another year. I seemed to like it better last summer when "the Risen Christ" wasn't the topic of the sermons.