What Would Jesus Drink?


I went to church today, but I didn't feel like partaking of communion, so I just stayed seated during that part of the service. I'm not sure why I felt that way. During Lent, our church has been doing the ritual weekly instead of only on the first Sunday of the month, and, maybe, well, doing it weekly was seeming like a bit much. Or maybe I was just in an ornery mood. I don't know.

But my significant other did go up and partake of the bread and the wine. When she came back, I whispered to her that her breath smelled of alcohol.

"That's not alcohol, that's the blood of Christ," she told me.

"In that case, Jesus has been drinking a little too much." If his blood smelled of alcohol, think of what his blood alcohol index must be! "I wouldn't put Jesus behind the wheel of a car."

She told me with some amusement that she had been downstairs and noticed that in the church office there were several cases of Two Buck Chuck.

Church budgets being what they are, this is not surprising. But given the cult following that Two Buck Chuck has, not to mention its bottom basement prices, it still seemed like an entertaining thought. Now, I guess we know what kind of wine Jesus drinks.